Some days I think,
Look at my baby, don’t you wish yours was as cute as mine?
Other days I hope no one notices.
Why does it matter so much?
Why do I even care?
Is it because I don’t want the sympathy?
-Probably a little. Why would I want sympathy for this little miracle I am tugging around?
Is it because I don’t want to answer the million questions I get?
-Probably a little too. It really is no one’s business.
Is it because I don’t want to see THAT look from everyone? You know the, Oh, I am so sorry, look of shock everyone gets when they find out.
-Most definitely that.
I wonder if I am shamed, but I know that’s not right. I really am proud of Leah, just as I am with all of my other kids. If anything I am more protective and gentle with her then the others.
I wonder why any of this even matters.
Leah is beautiful, after all.
She is unique.
She is smart.
She is strong.
She brings out the best in us all.
She is mine!
So, who cares about everyone else, right?
I feel the same way with Bella and her cancer sometimes. It's not shame or even denial for us, sometimes it's just wanting to enjoy the day with the two minutes you are not thinking or being reminded about "whats wrong" and instead enjoying what is right and good about the day. :)
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