Lost

Well, we had to fire our first teacher in our new county.

Which wouldn't bother me too much if there were more then TWO teachers in this county!

She wasn't a bad teacher, just not right for us.

She didn't have much experience with Down syndrome and I believe she didn't think Leah could succeed.

We all know otherwise.

Maybe I'm wrong, but it's the way I feel and I had to go with my intuition.

And, I don't have the patience, or time to waste, to prove Leah's abilities to anyone.

I need someone to teach me what the next steps are, not someone who needs me to teach them the learning styles which are typical of individuals with Down syndrome.

In my opinion, a special education teacher should have that knowledge already.

People with Down syndrome tend to thrive with repetition, consistency, and time to process.

At least Leah does.

And to me, it makes sense that most would, because of synapse speed and connections in the brain.

Anyway, no matter how many times I told her teacher that Leah could do something if you just give her a second to process, she wouldn't listen.

Leah has always amazed and impressed any professional who has, or has not, had experience with Down syndrome, because they gave her a chance to amaze and impress them.

I didn't get this feeling from her teacher.

It was like she was just looking for Leah to fail.

Our last IFSP evaluation had Leah at a mild to moderate delay and that was only so we could continue services at their current levels.

That doesn't sound like a kid who failed to me.

Leah does have some delay, don't get me wrong.

But with proper teaching techniques, she works past the delay and catches up quickly.

So we needed a change.

But, now we don't have a teacher at all!

I'm not second-guessing my decision because I prayed about it and that's what I needed to do, but darn it!

I miss our old therapists so much! (I should say previous, not old... ;))

They taught me so much.

They encouraged me so much.

They had strong faith in Leah.

When we were with them I knew Leah was in the best hands there were.

Loosing a teacher just takes away one more resource to rely on.

Her other therapists are great resources, it just feels like I'm missing a piece of the puzzle.

Make sense?

Leah's previous teacher did recommend a HELP (Hawaii Early Learning Profile) activity guide that would help supplement Leah's therapists in case we didn't have services for a while.

But, I'm a visual/hand's on learner.

I need to watch it done so I can do it myself.

I read the activities in the manual and they make sense, but when I go to implement those activities, they just don't seem to work.

I feel lost.

My baby deserves the best and I feel like a failure because I know she's not getting it.

I don't want her to fall behind because I can't teach her or because I don't know what skills come next.

She is SO smart.

But, she needs help.

She can't do it on her own.

And, neither can I. :'(