Our Sign

Disclaimer: You may be offended by this post.  It probably has nothing to do with you, though.  I will not apologize for what I write.  I write this blog for therapy.  I write this blog to give a voice to those who will not or can not speak for themselves.  I write usually when there's some major stress going on with being a parent of a child with special needs.  It is MY blog.  My blog is not always warm and fuzzy.  It is what it is.  Everything I write is honest and true.  I am not making up stories or adding information which is false.  I will not publicly insult a person by name, I will however use titles and situations.  I am not ashamed of anything I write.  If it offends you then there's probably something going on within you to make it offensive.  We are also not leaving the church.  This has NOTHING to do with our activity or our feelings about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  We know it is a perfect church.  We know the people are imperfect, because we are members and we are quite far from perfect.  We are not going to the Lockport Ward because of this situation ONLY. So stop judging us and just read, or don't.  This is not about me or you, it is about my daughter being DISCRIMINATED against! 

Welp...

Here we are still.

Still no answers.

Still no suggestions.

Still no communication from our church leaders.

Still nothing.

Our church teaches that we need to endure to the end.

I think that means that we have to keep trying, no matter what,  until the day we meet our maker. I  think it is very important to never give up; to always persevere.

But what do you do when you've been shut out?

What do you do when you hear wonderful and spirit-filled promises, but in the end you're still forgotten?

What do you do when it seems as though the leaders of your church somehow find ways to blame you for their mistakes?

OUR DAUGHTER WAS DISCRIMINATED AGAINST!

At church.

What. The. Heck!?!?

It's been another month.

That means it's been FIVE months since the incident.

Good grief!

We have been trying to be more active in "our new ward," but it is difficult to throw yourself into something, or somewhere, which you are not sure if you belong.

Leah actually spent the entire 2 hour block in Primary, 2 weeks ago.  I was so scared to send her, but I am so glad we did!

She didn't need an assistant.

She was welcomed just as she is. 

I could feel the leader's gentleness and love for her.

Leah was just perfect. 

It's such a shame that a ward who has barely met my kiddo treats her so much better then the ward where she was born and has grown up. 

I needed to feel their love for Leah. 

Heavenly Father knew I needed to feel that love.

We even went to Stake Conference (a conference set up by our church for all of the area wards. It is like having all of the parishes within a 100 mile radius or so, gather together and have mass).

We NEVER go to Stake Conference.

But we did last week.

We're trying.  

Our leaders are not.

I've even heard that it is being said that we are unwilling to compromise. 

Seriously?!?!

I just think they don't want to deal with us.

We've had a bunch of lip-service and absolutely NO actions.

OUR DAUGHTER WAS DISCRIMINATED AGAINST!

At their church.

They have control over that. 

It is THEIR responsibility to fix it.

We've even mentioned (a month ago) that we would be willing to consider any decision the leaders made, as long as it would address the situation.

We said we would pray about the decision and if it was right, we would do what was suggested.

The decision:

"We'd like to invite you back to the ward."

That's it.

Nothing else.

So, the decision was:

"Suck it up and come back.  We don't want to deal with the discrimination and you are the ones who need to bend and change for us.  It's too much to ask for anything more then an invitation."

Just for the record, we were willing to have meetings, trainings, and conversations with the person who hurt Leah/us so badly.

We were willing to listen and teach.

We were willing to forgive.

But no one suggested that.

No one thought anything more then an invitation was justified.

The blame is being placed totally on us because...

OUR DAUGHTER WAS DISCRIMINATED AGAINST!

I need to move on.

But, I am not one to give up... remember, I really do believe in enduring to the end and persevering.

I don't take "No" for an answer when it's something I believe in.

In our church we have these things called Patriarchal Blessings.

A Patriarchal Blessing is like a blueprint for your life. 

You can read more about it here.

My blessing says,

"May you always stand for what is right.  May you be involved in government and in organizations that have good intentions, so that you will make a difference to many and by doing so, you will specifically make a difference in your children's lives...You will be exhilarated as you utilize your talents on behalf of those children that Father in Heaven will share with you.  Not just those children that have been born to you, but those children who are within the Church of Jesus Christ."

I interpret that to mean that I shouldn't go away easily.  

That I need to stand up for what's right, especially when children are involved.

This is exactly the situation I suppose my blessing is talking about.

But I am becoming blue in the face!

OUR DAUGHTER WAS DISCRIMINATED AGAINST!

And nothing has been done about it!

Ridiculous. 

I think the Lockport ward should put a sign above it's door that says,  

"All are welcome (unless you [or your child/children] have a disability, or are unwilling to do what you're told to do even when you know it's wrong, or will question us, or will disagree with us, or will ask us to move outside our comfort zones, or are anything besides the cookie-cutter Mormon and if you are anything like was just mentioned our leaders will hurt you and ignore you and forget about you until you just give up and then they will place all the blame on you for giving up)."

That's a sign which would be fitting for the way we've been treated.

No wonder so many people have left.