A Better Me

Leah LOVES her siblings!

She practically jumps out of my arms if one of them sits next to us.

They love to play with her and include her in almost any activity they do.

Leah is Sarah’s baby doll.

She is Elijah’s TV buddy.

She is Hannah’s student.

She is Emmanuel’s gamer friend.

Her world is going to be rocked when they go back to school.

Who is going to play baby with her?

Or watch TV with her?

Or teach her?

Or play Madden with her?

She is going to be lonely and she will miss them all so much. I guess I have more roles I will need to fill.

She will be starting about 8 therapy sessions a week soon, so that will keep us busy.

Plus she will have ME all to herself! How can anything be better then that?

We will both miss the kids so much, but I have to try to look at the positive things which will come from their absences.

I will have more time to focus carrying over the lessons we’ve been taught by Leah’s teacher, physical therapist, speech therapist, and soon-to-be occupational therapist.

That, in its self, will be equivalent to several full-time jobs.

I was planning on transferring to a 4 year college in a few days. I am more then half way finished with my undergrad degree for special education and I was hoping to kinda fast track the next few years so I could be employed when Leah starts school.

I put that on hold.

Leah needs me home.

The day care she would’ve been going to would’ve been just fine for her. It was on campus. The educators seemed nice enough and the facility was very accommodating.

But Leah needs me home.

It’s taken 4 years to get where I am now, I can wait another 4 if I need to. I will never get this time back with Leah so my degree can sit a while.

I don’t need to be super mom. I just need to be mom. So that’s what I am going to be.

Plus a wife.

And a teacher.

And a physical therapist.

And a speech therapist.

And a occupational therapist.

And a playmate.

And a housekeeper.

And a financial advisor.

And a accountant.

And a Laundromat.

And a chef.

And a…

Happier me, in the end, because I chose to be all of the above for my family.

School can wait.

When I think of things from an eternal perspective, I will always know that I was here for my family. In the next life, I will not have any regret. We scrimp and borrow and pinch pennies so I can do it, but we do it because in the end, none of the other stuff matters more then family.

This puts A LOT of pressure on Steven to provide, but it makes him a better provider, honestly.

We have never went without.

There have been times when he has worked 2-3 jobs so I can be home.

He has excelled in his career.

He has more then tripled his income in the past 5 years.

I think the fact that his family needs him to, has encouraged him to work as hard as he does.

He is an amazing provider and we will be eternally grateful for him and his self-less choices too…

Sometimes life is better when it’s not about you, even when you really want it to be.